The older I get, the more I parent like my mom. Aaaargh?

Ja, so I went to Bangalore in December 2010 to be trained to facilitate two schema therapy based courses - Good Enough Parenting (about parenting, obviously) and I Choose Us, for married couples.  Wow, was that great!  I will talk about India another day, but I was freaking ecstatic about these two courses.  I've listened and been at so many parenting and relationship classes in churches, outside religion and ofcourse, during the 6 years at varsity training to be a shrink.  What I loved about these is that it helps one to go that bit deeper in self-awareness and, surprisingly, self-acceptance!  Ja, I know that I have turned into my mom with the kids - even though I vowed the 1st two decades of my life not to do it.  But now at least I understand WHY and I can stop beating myself over the head when I get grumpy with the kids.  You know the I-am-messing-them-up-for-life panic one strikes after being impatient with a hyper 6-year old.  Even better, now I also know how to NOT do what I don't want to do...or at least apologise for what I now know isn't functional.  What a relief.

So, Good Enough Parenting is all about being a good-enough, not perfect parent.  I use movie clips to show how to, and how not to during the classes.  It's fun and sometimes very intense.  It's actually quite amazing how many Hollywood movie scriptwriters actually purge their childhood pain and parenthood-angst through their craft.  I certainly have my pick and choose from many movies about disapproving fathers and frustrated sons! 

These two courses were developed in Singapore by John and Karen Louis and they have trained people all over the world to be facilitators.  Certainly a labour of love for this lovable couple.  But I saw marriage change in front of my eyes while we were being trained in Bangalore.  I certainly have learnt a whole lot about myself and my issues, oi vey.  Also started using Schema Therapy in my psychology practice and can call myself a schema therapy convert.  I'm sommer using the therapy on myself because it makes so much sense.  Ja, psychologists do analyse themselves and that's why, NO, I'm not analysing you(not for free, anyway)...a little shrink humour. 

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